Did you hear that? Someone farted in the Middle East. Hang onto your wallet because this time it’s going to cost you.
Sound familiar. It should. This is how the world works when it comes to how much we pay to fill up our cars with gasoline. There are huge debates on why, but that’s not the point of this article.
Electric cars were invented in the late 1800s, but disappeared when improvements to the gasoline engine made them obsolete. We have turned full circle and now the answer to unstable prices and expensive repairs is the good old electric car.
If you haven’t seen them yet, don’t feel bad. There aren’t many full electric cars out there yet. The hybrid car has been popular to the masses, but why aren’t there any electric cars zipping around the streets.
Here are the top 5 reasons why electric cars will never be the mainstream vehicle for the population of this country.
1. Harley Syndrome
Yes, I’m coining a new term here. There is a 100 year history of a motorcycle manufacturer that has a cult like following based on bikes that make loud noises. We all know what I’m talking about. You hit that red light again, and here he comes. Slowing down, brapp,brapp,brapp,coming to a stop, vroom, vroom, and sitting right next to you. He looks over and thinks, “Yeah, she digs me,” BRAAAPPP, VRROOOM, pop pop pop.
Electric cars are silent. Try wearing your skull bandana driving one.
2. Chicken or the Egg
So you’re taking your new plug in car for a trip. You want to show it off to your second cousin’s nephew’s accountant in Kansas City this weekend. It’s 700 miles. I’ll just stop and pour some more electricity in when it gets low. Don’t think so.
Electric car batteries don’t last long enough for you to make trips like this a possibility. With the current range in the 100 mile area, don’t plan on cruising Howard Street later on either.
Cars need the charging stations. Charging stations won’t appear without the cars. There’s no cars. There’s no charging stations. Who’s going to make the first move.
3. My Dad’s Dad
My Dad bought one. My Grandpa bought one. My blah blah blah has one. We all know why there’s some brands that sell the most vehicles every year. It’s hard to change, and it’s hard to accept that you’ll be parking down the street out of view if you ever show up in one of those #@$^ boxes!!
4. Douche Bags
Drive a Prius. Who drives the plug ins? That guy. Do you want to be that guy?
5. Long pony tailed hippy guy with bad body odor
What happens when your zippy doodle breaks down. Mechanics didn’t go to school to fix computers. They went to school to learn to hotrod their mom’s Monte Carlo. Time for a trip to that side of town. Hopefully this guy is smarter than he smells.
My technoratigobulos sensor costs $4800 to replace? Suck my leaf, I’m not paying that! Time to hit up Craigslist and find another $500 Escort.

